Us As We Will Be
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day 1134: As Brittany and Santana go to visit Rachel and Noah and their new baby, they have their own child on their mind. - Trinity series


_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, etc through 53rd cycle. Now cycle 54!_

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**"Us As We Will Be"  
(Older) Brittany/Santana (& Quinn) - Rachel/Puck  
Trinity series  
_(all series now listed under the communities tab in my profile)_  
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This moment would have been emotional for them regardless of circumstances, but as they did have to regard those circumstances, they were all but bracing themselves. It wasn't just that they were on their way to see Rachel and Noah's newborn son for the first time. It was that they were off to see their long time friends' child, while expecting their own, and while remembering that there should have been someone else there to meet the new Puckerman…

"Britt, just the one toy," Santana insisted, still smiling as she watched her wife flit from one end of the display to the other, picking one stuffed animal up, then putting it down to grab another, then taking a second, only to put down the first.

"I know, but…" she sighed, turning around. "The monkey or the rabbit?" she held them up with a grin. Santana looked at them both, all fluffy and adorable… and she felt herself start to weep. "Oh… Oh, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" Brittany put the toys down and went up to Santana.

"No, it's fine," she sniffled. "It's just… damn hormones, I swear…"

"Are you sure?" Brittany hesitated, and Santana presented her with a shaky smile.

"Yeah, definitely. Take the monkey." Brittany wasn't buying it for a second, but she went along with it for her sake… They were both kind of doing that today. Focusing on the two events of the day for what they were and not for what they were missing was taking everything they had.

"Okay, we'll take the monkey."

With their purchase done, they had gone on their way to Rachel and Noah's apartment. When they got there, Noah answered the door, the beam of a proud new father on his face. "Hey," he greeted them with a whisper, which told them to do the same. They both hugged him before he led them toward the nursery, where they found Rachel, pacing about with her son cradled in her arms. When she saw the two, she smiled to them, coming forward and turning about. They had no chance of resisting tears, and they flowed freely as they set their eyes on little Milo Puckerman.

"Look at you," Santana breathed, while Brittany touched the boy's hand.

"Do you want to hold him?" Rachel smiled, and Santana looked to Brittany, who understood right away: she wasn't ready. Brittany covered for her.

"Me first?" she begged, and Rachel handed the boy over. "Hi… Oh, wait until we see what we got you…" When his eyes cracked open and he looked up, Brittany was all smiles. "Think he likes me already…"

"Boy's got taste, I'll give him that," Santana smirked at her.

"And in a few months, you'll have a new friend, maybe a boy or a girl, we don't know yet, but I'm sure you'll get along," Brittany went on, and Santana breathed deep.

They wouldn't know if it was a boy or a girl that they were having just yet, though they both did want to know as soon as they could. Still on that day, after they left Rachel and Noah's, they were due to head to their doctor's office, where they would get to take a peek at the child growing in Santana's belly, their child, with a heart that was beating.

As hard as it was, they had started to move on with their lives in the wake of Quinn's death. They had to. Only with everything that was happening with them and this baby, they found that hardly a day went by without this development or that one, and with each one of those they were reminded of Quinn's absence… and that made it harder to truly heal and grieve her.

Brittany had helped Santana get ready, sit up and lie down as they waited for the doctor, and in the silence, Santana took her hand. Their eyes met, and they didn't need to say a thing. Brittany scooped up the hand that held hers and brought it to her lips, coming closer and resting her head on her wife's arm. Santana let out a breath, reaching to rest her free hand on the head of blonde hair.

The doctor had come, and soon the screen at their side came alive with the image of their child-to-be, while the speakers echoed the steady beat of its heart. They had both squeezed the other's hand at the same time, and when Santana cried this time, she wasn't alone. It had taken a moment for them to focus again and look at it, but it wouldn't be until they were back home, with their copy of the ultrasound on their television, that they really were able to appreciate it.

"I can't make up my mind…" Brittany stated as they sat huddled together, while she had her hand pressed to her wife's barely-showing belly.

"About what?" Santana asked, halfway between enthralled by the screen and by the feeling of Brittany's hand, lithe fingers dragging about.

"Sometimes I think it's a girl, sometimes I think it's a boy…"

"I think right now that's kind of okay," Santana smiled.

"Yeah… Either way, it's kind of incredible. Pretty soon that little thing is going to be a person, a real little person we can hold, and who's going to learn to walk, and run around… Can't wait to meet him-or-her… And, hey," she turned her words to the belly, "Whoever you are, whoever you become, we're going to love you, no matter what," she vowed with a smile.

"I think… if it's a girl… her middle name should be Quinn," Santana declared after a beat, and Brittany looked back up to her.

"Yeah?" she smiled, and Santana nodded. "It could work for a boy, too, couldn't it?" she asked.

"I guess it could," Santana agreed.

"So that's settled," Brittany bowed her head, resting her hand back as it had been. "Did you hear that?" she told the baby. "And one day we're going to tell you all about her," she continued in her promises. "That way, she'll never really be gone," her voice trembled, and she felt Santana's hand on her back.

"Never," she agreed.

THE END

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******A/N: This is a one-shot ficlet, which means that signing up for story alert will not bring you any alerts.  
****In the event of a sequel, the story will be separate from this one. And as chapter stories go, they are  
************always clearly indicated as such [ex: "Days 204-210" in the summary] Thank you!**


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